Why Flexibility of Behavior Is So Important

After discussing the NLP Presuppositions a few months ago, it’s now time to go into one of them in more detail.

To recall, the first presupposition states: the system (person) with the most flexibility of behavior will have the most influence on the system. That amount of flexibility has to be proportional to the variation in the rest of the system. The more complex the system is, the more flexibility is required. To say this in other words, the person with the greatest number of choices in a given situation is likely to get the best outcome.

Definition of Insanity
To further illustrate why flexibility of behavior is important, let me show you two popular quotes:

1. “The definition of insanity is doing what you’ve always done, but expecting different results.”
2. “If you go on doing what you’ve always been doing, then you will very likely get the same results as you are getting now.”

There is of course a simple solution for this: try something different for a change. If what you are doing is not getting the response you want then keep changing your behavior (flexibility) until you do get there. Just keep in mind that there is a solution to every situation if you’re prepared to keep on looking until you find it.

This is the exact reason why the remark “but that’s the way we’ve always done it” isn’t always the best way to success.

Begin With the End in Mind
Before you try out all kinds of different ways to achieve a certain outcome, it’s of course important to know what your outcome should be. It helps, to quote Stephen Covey, “to begin with the end in mind” (habit #2 of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). Then if you know your desired outcome, it helps to be flexible in your way to get to this outcome. Be open to other possibilities of getting there.

That having one particular outcome in mind for a particular situation might not always be the best idea is explained in the following section.

Flexibility in Negotiations
If you’re in a negotiation over a particular deal then it helps if you know your BATNA. BATNA stands for Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. If you go into a negotiation with only one outcome in mind – and you don’t achieve that particular outcome – then what do you do? If, on the other hand, you have several outcomes in mind (prioritized from most to least preferred) then it is likely that you will achieve at least one of your outcomes. Never go for less than your BATNA.

Failing to have available options during a negotiation is simply unwise. Having a good alternative gives you the confidence to either reach a mutually satisfactory agreement, or walk away to a better alternative.

Increase Choice
Always try to have a map for yourself that gives you the widest and richest number of choices. Act always to increase choice. The more choices you have, the freer you are and the more influence you have on the outcome of a particular situation.

Make sure you have at least three different choices for responding to an issue or situation. One choice is no choice at all, two is a dilemma and with three you get to choose.

Always ask yourself: “What are three other ways that I can respond to this behavior or situation?”

Have fun!

Gerber

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