How to Remember Names and Faces

It’s very frustrating when you run into someone you know, but you can’t remember their name. It’s even more frustrating if they do remember your name. Everyone will agree that being able to remember names is a valuable asset in both the business and social arenas.

Why is it difficult to remember names?
Usually the trouble isn’t with remembering the faces. Most people will recognize a face they’ve seen before, but then have trouble remembering the name to go with that face. Why is it difficult to remember names?

• A name says nothing about the description of a face. Try remembering hundreds of people named John, Bob or Mary. In fact, it’s easier to remember someone’s occupation than it is to remember his or her name. A name says little about a person. An occupation gives the person more depth, because it says something about the person and enables you to make an association.
• Maybe you hear the name of the person across from you only once, and then you can look at the face during the entire conversation.
• You can recognize a face, but you have to remember a name. Recognizing is usually easier than remembering.

The steps to remember names and faces
The system to remember names and faces consists of only four steps.

1. Attention. Mentally prepare, try to relax. Be interested. Be sure you hear the name when you’re introduced to someone. Many of us don’t even catch the other person’s name when they’re being introduced – we’re too focused on ourselves. How in the world are you going to remember the name if you haven’t even heard it? Also be sure you heard it right. Pay as much attention as possible to the sound and the pronunciation of the name.
2. Meaning. Make the name meaningful. You won’t have this problem with names that already mean something to you or names that remind you of something tangible. The problem is the meaningless names. A way to make these names meaningful is to substitute words for thoughts. Make up a word or phrase that sounds as close as possible to the name you wish to remember, and that has some meaning to you. It isn’t necessary to get the entire sound of the name into your substitute word or phrase. Remember the main element and the rest will fall into place. If you would like to remember the name Gordon, you can think of a garden. Or if you would like to remember the name Krakauer, you could picture a cracked clock (“crack hour”).
3. Observe. Look at the face and pick one outstanding feature. This could be the nose, the ears, the mouth or any other feature of the face.
4. Associate. When you’ve decided on the outstanding feature in the previous step, associate this feature to the name, or substitute for that name, in some ridiculous way.

Tips and alternatives
Here are a few tips and alternative ways to remember names and faces.

• When you observe, look people straight in the eye. Notice features. You will notice how much faces differ. Your brain is well equipped to recognize faces. Try this out: walk down your street and notice all the familiar faces (even if you don’t know their names). See from how far you can still recognize them. Notice the details that make these persons recognizable. First focus for instance on the nose, the ears, the brows.
• Ask again. When you’re introduced to someone, ask their name again – even if you probably heard it right the first time.
• Verify it. Unless the person has introduced him- or herself to you, verify what he or she wishes to be called. At a conference or seminar, for example, the name tag may have been typed incorrectly or it may be a more formal or informal version of the name they like to go by. Or someone else may have introduced you who doesn’t know the person well. Asking what they prefer (e.g. “Jeff introduced you as Debbie, is that what you prefer to be called?”) will not only cement the name in your mind, but ensures you are using the name that pleases them.
• Check the pronunciation. Ask if you pronounce it right. Again, repetition.
• Ask how you spell it, politely or by making a little joke. Repetition.
• Your new hobby – the origins of names. Ask if they know the origin of their name. Make sure you know the origin and background of your own name first, of course. You again take interest in the other person and again open up the way for repetition of the name.
• Find out something personal and unique about the person. Take your time to get introduced. Notice what people tell about themselves, about their background. Ask open questions and avoid closed questions, so they get the chance to give you more information about themselves. We all like it if someone remembers not only our name, but something more about us.
• Mention their name during the conversation. Don’t repeat it over and over again, but use it a couple of times and especially when saying goodbye.
• Repeat the name to yourself, when you’re not actively taking part in the conversation.
• Check names during longer pauses. Look around the room and check if you can remember any information about the person like the correct name, correct spelling, and all other background information you got about their name, plus all other important things from the conversation.
• If you want to become a master in remembering names, you can make a mind map for every person you met (time, place and date).
• Use the steps and tips mentioned here to introduce yourself, if you want your name to be remembered.
• Notice all the details surrounding the person. Remembering their name can be easier if you can remember what you felt or what you did, when you met this person.
• Picture the name written on their forehead. Franklin Roosevelt continually amazed his staff by remembering the names of nearly everyone he met. His secret? He used to imagine seeing the name written across the person’s forehead. This is a particularly powerful technique if you visualize the name written in your favorite color of Magic Marker.
• Imagine writing the name. To take the previous step further, NLP experts suggest getting a feel for what it would be like to write the name by moving your finger in micro-muscle movements as you are seeing the name and saying it to yourself.
• When you look for outstanding features, remember that color and style of hair can change. So look for the eyes, mouth, shape of the face, etc. If you would make a caricature, which details would you exaggerate?
• Exchange business cards.
• Remember the name before you meet someone. Before you go into a meeting, remember the names of the people attending this meeting (see if there is an agenda that lists all the people that are invited).
• If you like, you can use a magazine or a newspaper for practice. Cut out pictures of faces and use them as practice cards. Either make up names or use their real ones. Even though a picture is a one-dimensional thing, it will still prove the system’s effectiveness.
• Associate the person with someone you know really well with the same name (could be a good friend or a celebrity). Imagine the “new” person doing something with the “associated” person or letting the “new” person do something the “associated” person is famous for. If someone is named Arnold, you could picture him as The Terminator (Schwarzenegger). Keep in mind that all this is really a means to an end. Once a name is fixed in your memory, you can forget the associations.
• How important is this person to you? You remember information better if this information is relevant and important to you. The same goes for remembering people. If you think the person is important to you, you are more likely to remember this person. If you think the person you’re introduced to might not be very important, find out more about him or her. Or else just make up a reason why he or she is important to you and you will notice that it will be easier to remember this person.

Can’t remember?
These techniques will dramatically increase your ability to recall names, but it is inevitable that at one time or another you run into someone you met before and can’t remember his or her name. What to do if you can’t remember someone’s name? Here are some tips.

• Begin the conversation in a way that they give you their name by giving the example yourself. Introduce yourself (again) with your name, like “Hi, I’m Bob. We spoke at last year’s seminar.” If you’re lucky they will reply by telling their name too.
• Try and get them to show you something which has their name printed upon it.
• Introduce them to someone else.
• Ask them their name and when they say their first name, just say “I already knew that, of course. I meant your last name.”
• Look delighted to see the person, lock eyes and extend a warm “Good to see you again,” and then find out the name from a friend or a guest list later.
• Or, with the same warmth, try the more direct: “I remember you well, but your name has slipped my mind.” This might not be appropriate to mention after you have had a conversation of an hour.
• Under no circumstance use the line “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”.

Some of the tips and techniques mentioned above are from Tony Buzan’s Use Your Memory and Harry Lorayne’s Secrets Of Mind Power . These are great books if you want to learn more about memory techniques.

Just practice with these tips and most of all – have fun!

Gerber

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